Наткнулся в статье про Влада на описание его способности из ТВ и копипасту с пародией на TACTICAL GENIUS Крида из 40к, захотелось перевести
Плохой день Франца (Раскрыть)
У императора Карла Франца день не задался. В Мидденхайме, который недавно вернулся в лоно Империи, всё ещё бурлило недовольство, но теперь хотя бы лишь тогда, когда они считали, что шпионы Карла не следят. Слухи о активности Хаоса на Севере были подтверждены его самыми благородными союзниками из Кислева, Влад фон Карштейн, Тактический Гений Сильвании вернулся, а сейчас шёл его ненавистный еженедельный сеанс у психолога.
— Это просто безумие! — заорал Франц, рассказывая о своих стрессах на роли Императора в Империи, которая постоянно находится под угрозой. — Да эти орки были прямо там! Почему Мариенбург атаковал нас? Ну да, в итоге мы бы его захватили, но в чём прок от независимости, когда орки буквально у тебя на пороге!
Его психолог подозрительно затих, обычно в это время он рассказывал Францу, что тот отлично справляется с ролью Императора и что без него все земли были бы постепенно разорены врагами. Хотя лесть не помогала Францу справиться со стрессом. Тем не менее, Франц принял тишину за предложение продолжать.
— О, а ещё со мной связался Тогрим. Он разорвал наш союз. Просто так! «О, забей на древний пакт, который заключили ещё до создания наших империй и забудь про символ вечной дружбы, который мы тебе дали. Всё, мы не хотим видеть тебя. Вообще». Ну разве Гримгор Железношкурый не показатель необходимости нашего союза?
Когда психолог опять не ответил, Франц начал что-то подозревать. Он посмотрел в его сторону и увидел, что психолога внезапно заменил ПОЛНЫЙ СТАК ИЗ 20 ОТРЯДОВ, от чего Франц закричал
«ВЛАААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААД»
Цитата и оригинал (Раскрыть)
The most notable thing about him though; is his ability to have literally the entire army use the vanguard deployment status even if they're the last thing you'd ever think of when you hear the words "fast" and "stealthy", letting your enormous shrieking hordes of undead large and small pop up within spitting distance of the enemy army before they realize you're even there. Not just to Vlad's own army, but to *every* army you have, turning many quest battles into absolute jokes (the sword of unholy power in particular as the reinforcements the quest battle is balanced around will never arrive before you rout all the shamans) and letting you completely surround the enemy before the battle even starts. Or you can have troops camp the side of the map enemy reinforcements were supposed to come in through and slaughter them piecemeal; and since they're on the edge of the map any routed troops are instantly gone. He can also immediately attack a city without waiting for siege equipment, allowing you to conquer the world that much faster. In other words, he's gone and somehow learned Creed's tricks, using his skill as an UNPARALLELED PRACTITIONER of necromancy instead of Creed's mastery of his TACTICAL GENIUS when commanding the legions of mankind.
Franz's bad day
Emperor Karl Franz was having a bad day. Middenheim so recently brought back into the fold of the empire still grumbled, albeit now only when they thought his spies weren't looking. Rumors of Chaos stirring in the North were confirmed as valid from Karl's most noble allies in Kislev, Vlad Von Carstein the Tactical Genius of Sylvania had returned and now; it was time for his absolutely loathed weekly psychiatric appointment.
"It's just insane!" Bellowed Franz to his psychologist as he went on about the stresses of being Emperor of a empire constantly under threat. "I mean, the orcs were right there! Why did Marienburg attack us? I mean sure we would have to bring Marienburg into the fold eventually anyway, but what good is your independence when the orcs are literally on your door step!".
His psychologist was unusually quiet, ordinarily by this time he'd be telling Franz about the wonderful job he is doing as Emperor and how all of the empires lands would've been butchered by one foe or another if it weren't for him. While a benefit to his ego it hardly lowered Karls stress. Nevertheless Franz took the silence as indication to keep going.
"Oh and Thogrim contacted me, he broke our alliance. For no reason! Oh hey nevermind this ancient pact from before our Empire was even founded and forget the symbol of eternal friendship we gave you. We're done, don't wana be around you anymore. Nope. I mean isn't Grimgor ironhide enough of a uniting force to demonstrate the need of our alliance?"
It was at this point when his psychologist still hadn't responded that Franz began to grow suspicious. He looked and saw that his psychologist had suddenly been replaced with a full 20 stack of units, causing Franz to yell
"VLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
"